it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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