I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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