don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
My day in three words: secret purse cake
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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