Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
