lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
