Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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