Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
