im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
