I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
