I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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