i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Are my feet made of real feet?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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