She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
