Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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