Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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