I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Your penis caused this!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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