Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
