Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
