and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
