Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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