With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
