Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
