Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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