idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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