that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize