hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
