Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize