I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
