Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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