he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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