Rock
Scissors
Fuck
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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