my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
This is my gift to your gina
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
