im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
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