He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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