Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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