Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize