plz talk dirty to me
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
