I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
