Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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