You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
