Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
