i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
