If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
