I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
