Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
COCAINE IS GR8
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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