What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
