You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Randomize
