HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
