i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
whose ass print is on the piano?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
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