i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
