DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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