Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
