there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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