i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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