life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
