I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I can't turn off my feet"
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
