is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
