Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
