Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
bring money and cleavage
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
