trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He passed out mid-signature
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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