I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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