If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
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