the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
